"IMs to ORY"

I had a revelation as I rode in my preferred mode of transportation these days...a bus. I starred out the window at nothing in particular, thinking about nothing in particular. Probably trying to avoid thinking or making eye contact with anyone else. I wanted to be alone, yet I wanted all of my own thoughts to cease.

Have you ever felt stuck? Like you can't get out of the mode where all you do is feel sorry for yourself? Sometimes I just feel like people should go out of their way to help me..haha. I know, I am sure we all go through those times. Times when the world revolves around us. The times where noone can identify with us because we are going through worse things than they can imagine. Or ya, we just set ourselves on a pedestal.

Well the mood that I was in, was the victim mode. Why me. Why did this happen today. Why do I have to deal with this. And then it dawned on me, why am I playing the victim all the time? Why do I feel this strange magnetism to wanting to be the victim?

Then I thought about God. And I thought about what he wants for my life. He wants me to have victory. To be the victor, not to be the victim. Victory is a very powerful word. VICTORY. I picture the word being said by a very strong scantily clad man riding off to war (don't blame me for my imagination :) ) I guess we all want victory. But do we want to work for our victory?

And then I got angry. Angry that there are only 2 letters seperating me from victory. And that is IM. It seems so simple to take off the IM and add an ORY. I guess this is my challenge today, tomorrow and ya the next day. I don't know if it will get easier not to play the victim, but i do know that its worth trying if there is victory at the end...

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