Harder than the first time

When you were younger, didn't you think that life would get easier as you got older? All I wanted to do was get through high school and then I could do whatever I wanted and life would be easier. And I would be a super strong Christian, a hugely impacting follower of God. I thought that I would be this person that people would look at and see how different I am. Different through God. I always thought that it would get easier to follow God.

But it doesn't...I have to make the choice to follow Him. I have to make the choice every time I wake up whether I am gonna live for Jesus today. Every time I leave the house, every time I talk on the phone, in everything I do, I have to decide who I am gonna live for.
It doesn't get easier, but HE is always ALWAYS there. I never really realized how BIG and huge Jesus's love is for us. It is so big, I can't even fathom it.

For far too long I have let my sin, or the things that have taken the place of God in my life, I have let them define me. I have let so many things that are not even close to who I am define me. I have let someone who isn't me, define me. I have been looking in the mirror for far too long and seeing someone who isn't me. But its time that ends. So many of us just sit in our sin, or are crappy lives so to speak...and we wait, we wait for God to come and help us. We say things like, if God wanted to set us free from this we would be free. If God wanted me to change I would change. But those are lies...Lies are not from him. I have believed those lies for far too long. God loves us, why on earth would he want us to be captured by sin? We need to stop putting this off, we need to change today! Today is the day that you don't have to be dead in sin any longer, but ALIVE in Christ!

I know that I am deadly afraid of this. Becuz I look at my life and I see all the things that hold me down, and I also see how much God is working. BUt I am afraid if he is working this much and I am barely living for him, think of how much more he will do if I let go of all the things that held me captive. And to be honest that scares me, cuz if I saw God work any more that would mean I would have no choice, I've seen too much of God to reverse. And thats scary, so many of us live with one foot in the door, and one foot out the door becuz we are afraid to commit to God. We are afraid to make a stand, we are afraid to make a commitment that we can't keep. We are afraid that we will no longer be able to do the things that we did before. But this fear isn't from God. I am sick of living in fear. I know that Jesus is the way the truth and the life. Why should I keep running away from things that I know are true?

Our world is depending on what we do now...what we do now counts. There are so many people who are empty, who need God in their lives. Who are we to hide what we have?