I see with my Hands

I see with my hands... Current mood: drained

I am a massage therapist. I work 6 days a week as a massage therapist. Being a massage therapist is harder than I had imagined.

I see a lot of pain. Pain caused by car accidents, or trauma or pain that is completely unexplained. But I can explain their pain. Its not due to knots or whiplash. Its due to emptiness. I see a lot of empty people. At one time they may have been full, but now, now they have lost what they used to have. People just don't believe that they can get better, I mean why would they believe that they can get better if they have nothing to believe in?

Then I got to thinking about what I believe in. I have a lot of time to think during the day. What do I believe in? If someone asked me today what I believed in, what would I say? First of all I would be breaking a law, a law. I would be breaking a health professionalism law if I told someone what I believe in.

I believe in life. People don't want to hear that. They would rather deal with an empty person like themselves. Empty people stick together so that they don't get convicted. I believe in life now. I believe in living. I am alive, I am living, I have life. And the only reason I have life is because I have Jesus.

I realized lately that you can tell the difference between a person who has life. Its in their eyes. They say that eyes are the door way to the soul. What are your eyes saying? Do your eyes overflow? Or are they empty like everyone elses around you?
Are you living life? Or some other counterpart?
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Yesterday a man told me that he was cheating on his wife. His eyes were empty. You could tell that he felt bad. But he said that if he told her she would leave him. And he couldn't deal with it. So he just kept on walking down this road instead of turning back.

Today his wife came in. She seemed a little sad. I asked her if she was ok. She told me she thought her husband was cheating on her. She asked me if I thought that he could be.
I cried inside. I said I didn't know. My heart hurts. But my eyes are too dry to cry. What could I have said?

What would you have said? Told the truth? Or broke the law...and lost your job. I didn't know what choice to make. So I changed the subject.

She loves her husband dearly. She said that she would be hurt if her husband was cheating on her. She said that she would forgive him, because she would understand why he did.
But he doesn't want to take the chance. So he would rather feeling sick, every time his wife says he loves him.

Whatever.

All I can do is love. And I can only love with God's help. I no longer can rely on my words...but its my actions that tell the story