Wandering in the Desert

Wandering in the Desert

I used to read the bible. I used to read it everyday. One part that always made me mad, was the part about how God set the Israelites free from the reign of pharroh. God showed his kids many many amazing miracles. He even parted the seas for their safe journey. Incredible right. Well when they crossed the river, he even supplied them with mannah from heaven.

It fell from the heaven just for them. I always thought that they were so stupid. They had seen so many amazing signs and wonders. They had been from the pit of despair to the top of the mountain, But then they turned their back on God. They walked away. They ended up wandering the desert for 40 years.

They made me so mad. Why the hell did they walk away? God showed them so much for crying out loud. Why would they rather serve a golden calf than a God that had taken them away from slavery.

Then I realized that I am like these people. God has given me so much, he set me free from my captives, he provided away across the sea, he blessed me with mannah from heaven. And where am I now? I chose to be back in slavery. I have chosen to wander this horrible desert for 40 years.

And why? All because I am stubborn. Too stubborn to admit that I am wrong. Too stubborn to admit that I am lost, scared, alone. So I continue to wander in this darkness…waiting for what? Waiting for an epiphany? A revelation? What if I continue wandering in this desert and they never come? How long will I wander for? 40 years is a long time. Will I ever see the promise land?

Do I deserve to see the promised land?